Pictures From Edinburgh Part 2

They talk about being detailed, but they didn't mean this!

I recently recovered some more hilarious pictures from my trip to Edinburgh, so here we go...

Perhaps this sphinx is guilty of beheading...

... this sphinx!

All things aboard Britannia must be fit for royalty, I guess...

Well, all sandbags have to die someday.

Animals crossing!

Pictures From Edinburgh

I know it's a bit keen to do two blog posts in one day, but I was just going through the photos from my recent trip to Edinburgh, and there are lots of funny ones you might enjoy...

Well, I s'pose even scaffolding has to look attractive...

What? Dr Who's coming to Edinburgh?

A very vain-looking mermaid!

Not the best advertised fishmonger...

I guess they didn't have enough marble of the same type.

Some signs are terrible spellers.

An poultry-themed example of teatowel art.

An unusual arrangement of haggis, turnips and potatoes...

You're a bit grim, aren't you?

Interesting combination...

The Biggest Plum In The World?

A shorter post this time, I just wanted to show you this enormous plum I received from Borough Market near London Bridge as a present after I passed an exam. I love plums, and this one was especially juicy and sweet. I later researched plums on the Internet (:D) and found out that this is probably an Angeleno plum, which is "a big, purple plum with yellow flesh" which comes from Chile. Your mouths may be watering at this post but there was only a small basket left at the market, which may have run out by the time you read this post (even if they haven't, hurry because they will!)
- DP :)

The plum with a massive bite out of it!

P.S. If any reader knows of a bigger plum than this, I'd love to hear about it!

The Story Behind This Picture: The Wombat

Apologies to my readers for not blogging for a while, I've been away on a four-night trip to Edinburgh. And, to commemorate my first blog post for a week, I've decided to post about "The Story Behind This Picture" which will explain the interesting details (not made up, unlike "Tales From My Nana's House")  of this unusual thing I took a photo of. And the picture in question is this toy wombat, displayed in the Officers' Mess aboard the Royal Yacht Britannia in Edinburgh's port.

Any person who has yet to see it for themselves will probably imagine that the overhead fan in the above mentioned location has no significance at all. However, they are quite wrong. This adorable wombat, now perched on the fan for reasons not specified in the audio-guide, was an essential part of the Royal Family's time in the Mess, if used for less-than-lovable purposes. The wombat was principally the subject of one of the Royal Family's favourite pastimes, the game of "wombat tennis". As the name suggests, this game simply consisted of using the poor wombat as a tennis ball and knocking it around the relatively small room. I feel sorry for the wombat!

In addition, it would be a crime not to mention the wombat's fellow Royal toy animal, the wooden monkey (above). He had a quieter and less painful life than the wombat, his principle game being hide-and-seek. The wooden monkey would be hidden by the Royal Family for others to find, in the not-so-obvious locations in the very open Officers' Mess, and is finally laid to rest in the glass cabinet behind the bar. I suppose both animals have a much more boring life now, unfortunately.

- DP :)
P.S. See the wombat and monkey for yourself at the Royal Yacht Britannia in Edinburgh, if this post grabs your interest. They're mentioned on the audio-guide :D

A Show Like No Other (if there'd been more storyline)

Cirque du Soleil poster - this image isn't mine

Often, if you've been doing homework all morning, like I have (filling in a workbook about a recent school trip to France, to be precise), then the whole afternoon has to be stuffed with exciting sights and sounds to refuel your senses. Matinee theatre productions spring to mind. And what better production to view after a morning of work than one of the world's most renowned and prestigious performance companies, the Cirque Du Soleil, and their current show, the (vaguely) Native American themed Totem, currently at the Royal Albert Hall, London, which I saw earlier today. Totem has a huge variety of different circus acts involved, from acrobats clad as sparkly lizards performing bar routines on the skeleton of a tortoise's shell, to a clown fisherman pulling all manner of things from the water to his fishing boat. Speaking of water, the way images were projected on to the stage was very realistic - I could even see the ripple of the waves during the beach acrobatics scene, where acrobatics dressed in swimsuits performed impossibly flexible shapes on small hoops attached to long ropes, above the mentioned beach, creating one of the most memorable acts in the performance.

However, despite phenomenal acrobatic sketches - "Love on the Trapeze" was a highlight, especially when the male acrobat hung from the trapeze using only his neck, there was no real thread connecting each act, so much that they could have all been from different productions. The diversity of performers, from the glittery catsuit clad dancer-acrobat that took centre-stage at the start and end of the performance to the Chinese unicyclists throwing golden bowls to and from each other's heads, seemed to ache for a plotline to tie them all together in to an elaborate fantasy tale. Native American folklore, from which the show is supposedly based, is swarming with tales like this, so I feel they could have adapted one of these, because aside the lizard-like creature on the theatre poster, the show has hardly any connection with Native America, which I had been anticipating when I first found out I was going to the show. However, all these negatives have no effect on the immense skill of the performers, and if you only want a reputable and extremely embellished circus (exactly what Cirque Du Soleil is) and don't care about the storyline or historical roots of the show, Totem will still be the great show that it advertises itself as.
- DP :)

Tales From My Nana's House

Ever since I was very young, I've always taken great pleasure in wandering around my Nana's home, examining every tiny little object while my Nana and Mum watch Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is or similar antique shows that I don't take much interest in. Yes, yes, I know this sounds like the hobby of an extremely bored child with no real options as to what to spend their free time doing. But my reasons for doing this unusual activity go a lot deeper than that: my Nana's house is full to the brim with funny little trinkets of all shapes and sizes that all tell their unique stories of their history and how they came to the place I used to call the Museum of Found Things. Every item in this "museum" would have its life before now invented by the curator, myself. Of course, I, always making up stories about my surroundings, my life and the people in it, would endlessly make up these tales for days on end. Since I visited my Nana yesterday, I thought I'd share some of the more funny and imaginative stories to fire up your creativity.
- DP :)

An Unusual Model

This elegant, human-like mouse has lounged lazily in my Nana's hallway for years with being a doorstop as its only job. Poor mouse, it must get terribly bored. However, its past has been a lot brighter. Back in the 17th century, when rich ladies had new dresses or accessories made for themselves they would order two of each garment: one for themselves, and one for their one personal model, usually a toy mouse like this one. Mice would be the model creature of choice because of their lightness and fragility, qualities that fashionable ladies often desired. When the human-sized clothes had been safely put away in the wardrobe, only to be used at parties, the mouse toys would be dressed in the smaller equivalent and subsequently displayed on the windowsill for passers-by to recognise that the mouse's owner was up-to-date with the recent fashion trends. When the owner of this particular mouse was alive, blue lace-hemmed floral dresses and straw baskets were in fashion. Now, the mouse lies in the Museum of Found Things to represent a little-known but very iconic movement in the world of fashion.

An Obscure Dancing Style

Naked dancing with geese and balancing balls in impossible positions on one's legs and arms may be frowned or even laughed at today, but in the 17th and 18th centuries it was one of the world's most renowned and popular entertainments. People would flock from all over the world to a small town festival in rural western England, the centre for this strange art form. The art form itself consisted of  naked women performing technically difficult dance and gymnastics, while balancing a yellow ball (or, in the cases of some elite performers, a very valuable gold one) in precarious positions, such as this one, where the lady tries to spin around on one leg with one ball on her ankle and one just next to her foot on the floor. She aims for neither ball to roll from its original position. In some cases, like this set of statues, geese would be placed near the performer in order to add humour to the performance with their reactions if and when the ball rolled away, which included cawing and sometimes flying away. This art form was usually referred to as "The Ritual of the Ball" because of its origin as a spirit-calling dance in rural English places of worship. Now, to celebrate the quirk of certain pastimes past and present, the Museum of Found Things displays this skilful representation of the art form on its sitting room display shelf.

Unknown Ways Of Spending Indoor Days

Snow is falling throughout the country and many neighbouring ones too, and it's not fun snow, i.e. snowman building and snowball throwing snow. It is, in our case, hard, icy, frozen snow, which greatly increases some of my family's and my reluctance to take a breath of fresh air. If you have similar difficulties, or are stuck at home because of rain, snow, ice etc., I've reviewed a fantastic, if slightly out of the ordinary, card game that is great for days like this, that I think many blog readers will enjoy if they're bored of Scrabble. 
- DP :)
P.S. Some of you may have realised that the prints in the snow were the mark made by a rabbit's feet and tail.

 Junk

When you hear descriptions of this now very rare card game, you'd think it only appropriate for those raring to break onto the antiques market and wanting to have some light-hearted patter practice while having fun with friends and family. However, antiques and flea markets have never been much of an interest to me (although they have been to my Mum), yet I took to this excellent game very well. Ever since my Dad received it for Christmas, my family and I have used much of our free time playing Junk, due to its extreme addictiveness. Its gameplay is very similar to an antique dealer's life; players sell their selection of thirteen different types of antiques (e.g. bureau, eagle table centrepiece, cabinet) in pairs to either a "museum" (really just the centre of the table) or the "public" (just the other players), and try to make a profit from what they've bought from other players in order to achieve the objective of having the highest credit at the end of the game. The catch is that the items are either "Genuine" or "Junk", and players don't know which until it's too late. Of course, junk items cannot be sold to the museum, and if an item isn't sold, the failed seller earns its price if it's genuine, and loses its price if it's junk. The tension builds high towards the end of the game, because every purchase counts and even the tiniest blunder can be the difference between winning and losing. The laughs, the opportunities for over-imaginative patter and the frequent light-hearted embarrassment at genuine-ness giveaways make this a wonderful game that's suitable for all ages and for lovers, haters, experts and novices of the antique market. The only things I have against it are that it can become predictable who will win and lose a little too early on in the game, and with 78 genuine items and 26 junk ones, Junk does take longer than most games and there's no real variation in play throughout the game.

Junk cards

N.B. No real money or antiques is involved in this game, only cards and tokens.

Junk box

Only available second-hand. Starting price on eBay: £1.99 + £1.75 postage

Whose Tracks?

 I personally think that the first post of a brand new blogshould focus on something that has aspects of mystery and enigma, to draw thereader in and make them, if they like the sound of it, follow the blog. So Ithought that this photograph I took with my mum's camera a few minutes ago may dragyou into my blog. This has got me thinking for ages about which creature hasbeen wandering around underneath the yew tree in the back garden of my family'shouse in Suffolk, Eastern England. Could it be a ferocious grizzly bear escapedfrom a Canadian national park? Or perhaps the Abominable Snowman has shunnedthe Himalayas in favour of the East Anglian countryside? OK, there's a fineline between fun creativity and total madness, and this crosses it. But still,this picture does get one's imagination bouncing up and down with energy, andif anybody has any ideas as to who - or what - made it, feel free to comment. Allsuggestions would be very much appreciated ;)

- DP :)